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Questioning beliefs was the fundamental principle on which the Bible Students were originally founded. They understood that it was critical to do their own research to arrive at the truth, rather than blindly rely on the words of established religious leaders.
As Jehovah’s Witnesses, we’re taught to boldly follow in their footsteps, yet at the same time we’re repeatedly told that questioning what we are taught and doing research outside of the publications that the Organization provides is dangerous to our spiritual and physical wellbeing.
Over the years, many Witnesses, including elders, missionaries, and even a member of the Governing Body have come to feel that what they were being taught from the platform didn’t always make sense.
Perhaps you were born into the truth, but you never quite felt the zeal that others seem to have. Or you might have questions about some of the new light that has been added in the past few years that the elders can’t seem to answer.
This website won’t tell you what the truth is, but it will provide you some of the resources we wish we had access to when we first had questions about what we were being taught.
We know this is scary, but we promise that there are millions of people around the world who understand exactly what you are experiencing.
As one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, you likely have been trained from birth to believe what you are taught at the meetings. Everyone you are close to and everything you know are tied to being a Witness and leaving can feel impossible, but it is not!
What you are experiencing is called “Waking Up." This simply means that you are learning that not everything you have been taught is true, and that the Organization does not necessarily have Witnesses safety and wellbeing in mind.
Waking up takes an enormous amount of courage, just by reading the pamphlet you are doing a very brave thing. The path ahead will be hard, but you can leave the religion and live a happy, fulfilling life free from its control.
Here are a few tips to help you on your journey of self-discovery:
First, it’s important that you don’t tell anyone you are waking up. It’s natural to want to share what you are learning with your friends and family, but remember that, like you, they have been told that anything which contradicts the Organization is dangerous.
Prioritize your mental health. Waking up is traumatic, and it is perfectly normal to feel confused, sad, conflicted, and even angry.
Plan out your next steps carefully. Before you do anything, take your time to process what you are feeling. Relax, take a deep breath, and try to stay calm. You are making changes to years or decades of routine, you don’t need to make any decisions quickly.
Find a therapist. This can be helpful both in the short-term, as you navigate deconstructing your beliefs and long-term as you leave the religion & build a new life outside of it. A therapist who has experience with religious trauma can be especially helpful to guide you through this process.
Don’t get baptized, if you are not already, as this can make it much harder to leave the religion.
Make sure your material needs are taken care of. The religion has been intentionally designed to prevent Witnesses from building support networks outside of the faith, making us reliant on other Witnesses to care for our physical needs.
In order to leave, you’ll need a place to live independent of Witness parents or roommates, reliable transportation, and a job that enables you to support yourself. You may need to go through the motions, pretending to be a faithful Jehovah’s Witness until you finish school, find housing, or better employment.
Build connections outside of the religion. Even if you are not disfellowshipped, the majority of Witnesses will eventually stop interacting with you. A good support network will be critical as you build your new life. The resources on the back of this pamphlet can help you connect with other Witnesses who are in the process of waking up and those who have successfully left.
You might also consider reaching out to non-Witness family members, former Witnesses you know personally, or even trusted classmates or co-workers. As you expand your circle, you’ll find that the world is full of kind, caring people. However, you should exercise caution when expanding your social circle, as not everyone is worthy of your trust.
Fade away gradually. While there is no “right” way to leave the religion, a process called “Fading” is often the path people choose to follow.
Fading consists of gradually engaging less and less with Jehovah’s Witness activities over a course of weeks, months, or even years until you eventually sever all connection with the religion.
How quickly you fade is entirely up to you. Some people simply stop going to meetings all at once, others slowly attend less and less.
Other actions to consider during your fade include: Stop any donations you are making. Stop engaging in the field ministry. Stop volunteering at the Kingdom Hall. Step down from privileges you hold in the congregation such as elder, pioneer or ministerial servant. Stop socializing with active Jehovah’s Witnesses outside of meetings.
Consider moving. If you are in a position to move, this can help you avoid the scrutiny of Witnesses who may notice that you are fading.
Refuse to meet with the elders. As you fade, it is likely that elders will want to meet with you, either to try and bring you back to the religion, or to find cause for disfellowshipping. Remember that the elders have no power or legal authority, you do not need to meet with or even speak to them.
Leaving is the beginning of your journey, not the end. The path ahead will be difficult. In leaving the religion you’ll likely lose many of the people who are dear to you, but it will be worth it!
You’ll have the opportunity to explore who you really are. To focus on building a life that aligns with your values and aspirations, not ones that have been predetermined for you. To pursue education, experience romantic relationships, seek meaningful employment, and surround yourself with a supportive network of genuine friends who understand and respect your journey.
We know firsthand how impossible your position can seem, as well as the guilt and shame you feel in doubting the Organization you have been taught to deeply respect.
We also know that living a rich, full life outside of the religion is waiting for you.
With love,
Your free Brothers & Sisters
